Because Andy Said So

Novel: Hey, Andy. Are we alright? I feel like maybe you're trying to break up with me. Do you even still like me? Me: Oh, Novel! I'm so, so sorry I've been neglecting you. I still love you. I'm just drowning in stress from other parts of my life. Novel: So you haven't been avoiding me? You've just been busy? Me: Yeah. I hate that I made you feel like you're not important to me. You are super important. It's just there were painters all over the place, then an entire two-car garage full of random stuff was delivered. I don't even want most of it. But I have to open every box, because they all have a few items I want to keep in them. Novel: That sounds tiring. Me: It really is. We didn't get to downsize much when things went into storage, because the very same week my moving schedule had me start rehoming things back in 2020 was the week everything shut down. I didn't want to throw away perfectly good things just because I didn...

Me: Hey, Novel. Are you okay? Novel: You know? I really don't think I am. Me: Want to talk to me about it? Novel: Do I want to talk to you about how you're destroying me? Me: I'm not trying to destroy you. I'm trying to make you better. Novel: How about we start with talking about how you told me you were going to revise me, then opened a blank document. How is that revision? How are you not just replacing me? Me: It's still you, Novel! Yes, there's a lot of rewriting, but it's refining what came before even if the words are different. I'm replacing your words, not you. I'm keeping the look and feel of you, the heart of you, the themes of you... Novel: It doesn't feel that way. Have you even seen what you did with my outline? You hacked half of it away. Half. YOU MURDERED HALF MY CHAPTERS! Me: Okay. I did do that. But the chapters you have can be longer now. Act I is down to four chapters, but those four chapters take up twenty three ...

Me: I think we're done for now, Chapter 1! 1: Yeah, I think so. The stuff you came back to add today was good, I felt. You changed a little more than I was expecting yesterday, but it's cool. 2: I have a question though. Me: It's not really time for our briefing, Chapter 2. 2: Yeah, I know. But I'm really confused about something. Me: Okay. What is it? 2: I thought you were REVISING me. But you appear to be completely rewriting me? So far I contain five and half thousand words, none of which were in the original manuscript. Me: Well... Okay, that's fair. I pretty much am rewriting your content. The things I wanted to tweak changed the scenes we did today enough it felt easier to do that than not. 2: Uh huh. And the next scene is going to be the same, isn't it? Me: It is. 2: So in what way is this project a revision and not Yet Another Rewrite? Me: I'm going to keep more of most scenes. It's just that your scenes do a lot of introducing and ex...

Me: Hey, Acts! How are you feeling. Act III: Tired. Act II: Bloated. Act I: Incomplete. Me: Okay. Those are all reasonable.  Me: III, you'll have some time to rest before we get around to even plotting your revisions.   Me: II, I already have a list of things to trim from you.   Me: And Act I, I have SO many notes about you. A lot of things to flesh out, but also some stuff to cut. I think you'll feel better after the makeover. Act I: Should I be nervous? Me: No, you should be excited! Act I: And my chapters? Me: Uh... Welllllll... They're in for a lot of change. There's going to be merging and cutting and new scenes. And you're getting two chapters from Act II that I realized should have been considered Act I from the get-go. Act II: Um. What? Me: Yeah, so remember you felt bloated? I actually agree with that assessment. There's a lot of trimming in store for you and very little expansion. Although I also mismarked your ending and you get the start ...

Me: Ending... Oh... I like you so very much. I may even love you. Ending: Oh, good. I was hoping you would. I was designed to be happy in the hopes that would make other people happy. Me: Mission accomplished. Now you'll have to excuse me while I collapse. I wrote close to 9,000 words today and my brain is mush.

Me: So, 28 and 29, you both concluded today. And you both totally rocked! 28: And which of us did you like better? Me: Um... I feel that's a unfair question. 28: Is it though? 29: I mean, maybe? Cause, like, 28, there was a lot of jealousy boiling up in us, but at the end of it all, we are part of a POLYAMOROUS romance. Like, one of our core messages is about how you don't need to pick ONE love to be all obsessive about. 28: Yeah, sure. Polyamory is great. I just want to know which one of us she loves more. Me: That's not really how all of this works, 28. 28: Okay. But I end on a more compelling cliff hanger. 29: And I contain a freaking -spoiler redacted-! What's more awesome than a -spoiler redacted-? Besides, no one actually LIKES cliffhangers. Me: Look, I just wanted to say you BOTH did great and I'm proud of you. Now scurry along. I have a dishwasher to empty. Me (closing door): Good grief. At least there's only two more chapters to go.

24: I am the new Chapter 24! I can't believe she wanted all this to happen in Chapter 28. Glad she popped back to add me! 24: 2/3rds of you weren't supposed to exist at all. 24: OMG. Change your name! You're 25 now. And you had unscheduled stuff too. (24 is now 25.) 25: Fine. 26: Hey, 25! I just talked to the writer. She says we have a lot of scenes that kinda establish the same things and so we need to decide what to cut and see if we can't merge into one chapter. 25: Of course she does. What does the writer have against me? 27: I don't think she has anything against you, 25. 25: You would take her side. I heard her gushing about your content. Wait until she decides those arcs need to go a completely different way and she's chopping you to bits. 23: Why do you have to be so negative, 25? It's not that she doesn't like your content. She's just worried about her word count being high. 25: Whatever, syncopant. 28: Could you all PLEASE stop ...