Firing Chapter One

Me: Hello, Chapter One. Thank you for coming. Have a seat.

Chapter One: Um.

Me: So I'm looking over your achievements, Chapter One. I wonder how you feel about them in relation to the book as a whole.

Chapter One: I honestly don't know why I'm here.

Me: It is such a relief to hear you say that! I was thinking your content would be better presented in summary form in what is now Chapter Two, but which will now become the new Chapter One.

Chapter One: What? No, I meant I don't know why I'm in your office!

Me: Well, that is unfortunate, Chapter One.