Because Andy Said So

Me: Chapter 16, what do you have against Yuri? 16: I don't have anything against Yuri. I just don't want to coddle him. He might be your favorite character, but- Me: Hold on! I don't have a favorite character! That would be like having a favorite child! 16: No one's buying that. You do. It's Yuri. Move on. Me: Fine. He's my favorite. Is that why you're being so mean to him? 16: He needs to suffer for the plot. You know this. Me: I mean, a little bit of suffering, sure... 16: It's not like I killed his pets. Hmmm... Could we- Me: No. 16: Fine. The bunny dragon thingies can live. Can I go now? I need to tell 17 something.

Act II: Um... You doing alright, Andy? Me: Yeah. A little under medicated with the Adderall shortage, but hanging in there. Why do you ask? Act II: Well, you haven't checked in with me in a while. And several chapters say you didn't do exit interviews. Me: Oh! Right! (Checks notes) Me: 9, You have no content. We'll get to you in revisions. 10: Huh? I don't exist? Me: Not you, sorry. I meant the new Chapter 9. You're 10 now. 10: Okay? Me: 11, You took longer than I thought you would. That shouldn't have taken a whole chapter, but I guess it did. 11: Sorry? Me: It's alright. You're pretty solid. Now, 12... Well, that ending was certainly ominous. Well played. 12: Thanks. I was trying. Me: 13, your first scene is SO creepy! I love it. And your ending! Powerful stuff, 13. 13: Creepy is exactly what I was going for! Me: 14, nice fallout from 13. And that pizza... Sounds truly awful. Nicely done. 14: Trying to make pizza sound gross was a challenge...

Me: Chapter 9! That ending! OMG! I feel sick! Chapter 9: Um... Sorry? Me: NO! In a good way! That was a punch in the gut, but I loved it! Chapter 9: Oh. Are you sure that's healthy? I could try to be nicer. I probably should do that... Me: Don't you DARE!

Me: Hey, Act II! How are you feeling? Act II: Dunno. Kinda like my outline is less like an outline and more like of a bunch of notes? Like, you know? Me: I mean, that's sort of what an outline is, really. Act II: Yeah, but like... I dunno. I think I'd like more notes? Cause like now they're like really vague? And like you're already adding stuff? And, like, I'd like to know what's coming. Me: Yeah, okay, that's fair. Tell you what, tomorrow we'll sit down and have a talk about your goals. Does that sound good? Act II: Dunno. I guess, like, sure, we can try that.

Me: Act I, 19831 words. That's almost exactly 20k! Act I: Is it bad that I'm under? Me: No. You're great. Act I: But there are those things in the outline that I didn't get around to doing. And things my chapters inserted without permission. Me: You worry too much. I like the additions. And the other things will either get cut or be part of Act II. There's a reason I didn't outline it before you were complete. Act I: So you don't want me to yell at Chapter 6 for you? She totally went off on a tangent. Me: It was going to happen anyway. It just happens sooner now. I think that'll actually work better in terms of reader engagement. And her ending was amazing, even if I'm a bit biased. Act I: Okay. So I'll just bugger off then? Me: Yeah. But don't go too far. I'll be calling you up again come revision time. Binge some shows or something. You deserve some you time.

Me: Hi, Chapter 5! How are you feeling? Chapter 5: Shrug. Me: Did you just say, "Shrug?" rather than actually shrugging? Chapter 5: Shrug. Me: Okay... So Chapter 4 thought you might be upset at taking some of her content. Chapter 5: She's so drama. I don't care. As I see it, all you want from me is one scene because she did the rest of the work. Why would it upset me to do less work? Me: So we're good? Chapter 5: Sure. Can I go now? Want me to tell Chapter 6 she's up? Me: Yeah, great. Thanks.

Me: So, Chapter 4... You seem a bit dramatic. Chapter 4: Me personally or my content? Me: Both? I've noticed your bickering with Chapter 3. Chapter 4: We'll, it's just really unfair that SHE got to have all that extra content but you're going to be mad at me being nearly 6k. I would have been less if SHE had stuck to the plan rather than leaving me to catch us up to speed. Me: I'm not mad at you. Chapter 4: You aren't? Me: No. I am going give half your content to Chapter 5, because you do contain too much. But I'm not mad at you. You explored more than expected, but I don't think that's a bad thing. Chapter 4: Oh. Alright then. Although... Have you told Chapter 5? Me: Not yet. Ch4: Then you haven't seen drama yet.