Yesterday, Michael Stearns over at Upstart Crow ended a blog entry with, "Do you all feel that without immediate rewards for blogging that it isn’t worthwhile?"
I responded that I'm a writer, I'm used to not having instant rewards.
Yet today has nevertheless found me battling a massive infection of Why-Bother-itis.
Why bother blogging today? It's not like I've made my Mon-Wed-Fri goal the first two weeks. It's not like the comments are fixed. It's not like I'm happy with the way the site looks. It's not like anyone could possibly care anyway.
But, worse than that, why bother writing anything? It goes beyond the common I'm-never-getting-published blues and into a realm where I can't see why there'd be a point even if I were someone so brilliantly wonderful that people would be studying my stories two thousand years from now.
I don't write for external reward. But days like today, I'm not sure what the motive is.